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font-family:方正小标宋简体;mso-hansi-font-family:方正小标宋简体;mso-bidi-font-family:方正小标宋简体">晚文字漫谈——端方
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6 w$ t- h2 u- g' P; Q楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">时间：$ Q. Q4 \" M% N8 I( s
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">20143 M" k3 L" V# L1 C, d7 }1 v
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">年8月12日
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$ g, C5 z/ P1 n9 q2 \楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">地点：4 D4 j8 u2 @! V7 T' P+ Umso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老秘网“文稿修改演播室”（QQ群号：366351120）
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">主讲：- x% X, u: `: P- r' T
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方
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) X+ r: z. V* _1 y! `( _mso-font-kerning:0pt">一、对一篇汇报材料的讨论
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">. ?3 H- N+ c7 ?1 B8 cfont-family:黑体;mso-hansi-font-family:黑体;mso-bidi-font-family:黑体">老猫：某市美丽乡村创建工作情况汇报，大家帮某同学推敲一组标题，如何？
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"Times New Roman"">（一）立足转型强村，打造宜业乡村。
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">$ Y# P) L$ P! }) y- D3 \"Times New Roman"">（二）坚持“五水共治”，打造宜人乡村
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) Y! K- B2 h8 Z( `9 _. D! B8 L) e$ lline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">( w' G+ ], C* x, l"Times New Roman"">（三）着眼增收致富，打造宜农乡村。
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6 l! j9 v* C. o4 M/ m1 x: tline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">5 i5 R9 e, ]! g* @' N# p: C"Times New Roman"">（四）突出民生保障，打造宜居乡村。
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( B& ] A. |& L) D# K% L1 r P# fmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">魅力乡村，幸福乡村、宜居乡村、富裕乡村之类的，我的意思是用一根线串起来，让这组小标题形成一个整体。- l* v' o: J; x; O0 P# r# qmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">标题分两部分，前半部分亮手段（做法），后半部分凸显成效。四个乡村的思路不错，但内容上缺少支撑，建议再从内容上面抓取下逻辑。另外，感觉题目不足以体现内容。! T. F6 [1 X/ B9 Z4 gmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌：( S/ d4 n2 R l, Fmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，内容来讲有并列的，也有逻辑递进关系，不知如何把握。) a/ a) m1 s* d, Q) `) N# E2 u; h
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">富增收入，美展新颜。+ c! c# l5 L- J9 b# @9 Cmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">霞光：' M/ c/ Z! b( u4 smso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">民生保障作为出发点，惠农增收作为增长点呢0 ]4 {. t& N" j) p6 p7 Q' W+ G
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">感觉民生保障包括很多方面，不只是宜居。宜居一般是和生态环境放在一起的，民生保障一般和和谐、幸福搭配在一起。4 C; i9 s. m' s/ w* O3 p. f; h# Umso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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: V8 q: o' L; Q5 u( W9 C( u$ U楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度：% l$ Y5 y3 e; u* e
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">顺序调整一下，环境放最后。不知道第一点内容。& N2 y6 K. b3 r: Amso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌：# j- H4 N8 f2 k" i! B# l3 r# ]
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">整个提纲是这样子的：3 s8 d( g8 q# K2 Y0 d
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宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、政策支撑强保障。( Y, i- h) m6 G0 W0 W仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、健全机制促落实。/ K: ?8 Z5 a8 a/ @+ Q$ S* Z2 K仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、十年时间抓整治，美丽乡村显成效. {; R6 U7 G$ w7 h5 s: H bfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;& e1 ]. D. k+ A" t F; P
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">（一）坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的$ n1 E7 Y5 R; v- N
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏0 ^2 h, S$ w+ Z8 R4 S+ B! Y
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，乡村发展水平有效提升。4 Y/ m" Z$ F3 T, q9 Dfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;* c9 z+ J& j( q- x3 Z) j7 S( a
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、依靠主体强动力。9 {3 ^' D6 @, hfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">产村联动促增收。坚持建设与发展并重，因地制宜做到美丽乡村建设与产业项目发展并举。一是整合特色产业。根据不同的区位优势、产业基础和发展趋势，规划产业布局，整合产业资源，大力发展专业市场，壮大村集体经济。如古山镇大园东村依托发达的废旧钢铁产业，引导周边0 F, E8 R, p4 [mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">57 h S8 o" v4 n9 h3 I) s5 h
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, @% D+ `* d) E2 h" Y) }宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个摊位的废旧钢铁市场，村集体经济年收入- b/ ?+ K7 J1 b4 n! Wmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">1000 V: `$ { N2 I4 n5 Pmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多万元。二是发展物业经济。针对区位优势明显的村，通过农村集体建设用地开发和项目建设，盘活土地，投资发展集体物业项目。如城西新区小东陈村，通过与相邻6 ?3 x! q0 n* P" O
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宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个村联合建立五星社区，集聚人口$ u4 y( J3 R. o h
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多人，盘活建设用地8 B$ P/ p: ]' }
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6 E% q" g$ z; v+ q5 I8 f- G( G4 D宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">万平方米，建设城西物流中心，实现村民、企业、环境的% _5 }4 f' T2 A f; qmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“% D5 N7 }4 y" X8 T0 d0 V
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">：一般正文里不用一是二是三是的吗？8 D0 j2 T7 N, ^* S% R6 ?* Q$ t& @
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6 d) f+ e* @( I+ p' ?5 O楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方: r6 J3 v- M7 X! R( rmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">用是可以用，问题不在这里。这个材料感觉像是工作总结，挂了个美丽乡村的头，较牵强。/ ?- D6 C/ k$ l; y5 ]5 Z- N5 o
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+ i. ^: `: G: d' E4 ^$ P, ^楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:. J0 ~8 @1 g0 L8 n9 l& Y; d pmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那没有，美丽乡村建设也包括这些内容的，而不仅仅是村庄整治。9 X+ }( B% S' K- Smso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我不是这个意思，美丽乡村汇报也好，生态乡村汇报也好，这些内容都可以用。一个汇报材料第一是基本情况，第二是对于创建活动本身的相关情况汇报，第三是做法，第四适当点点问题。当然，问题也可以根据实际情况不点。至于你的措施，应该是结合本情况来的。而且此提纲里，做法没有必要分这么多层次，容易造成逻辑上的混乱。你先要明确出这么几个重点。比如，要说转型，你想表达的转型是什么转型，怎么转型，转出什么成效，结合美丽乡村落到优化产业结构上比较好。4 Q) |( |0 Z8 i- v- Zmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我内容太多了是嘛？1 X! e: d2 X( o# Y/ fmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:! M! F- c7 H; Y$ P8 R0 nmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不是多，是乱了。我看完的体会是包罗万象，但具体内容看完却记不住多少。) \6 C2 G2 T3 s# gmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">层次可以简化，什么都想说，太杂了。, U3 R/ \( |9 d
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">/ A7 ^/ v% r( D- o14.0pt;font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-hansi-font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:
3 f( }$ m# d! G5 J0 _9 w3 A楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:, Y3 V3 l' _9 @* w1 Q, X: _7 c. h* i8 `mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不过不是不能说，要理顺一下。举个例子来说，就用猫总凝练的题目（一）坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的& U& f- v% F! C& e: Y
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% g+ h7 R* m# m) T宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏/ i, {8 ]# t4 G! ?" Y
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` e6 ^( j& w) `: {6 D6 ^. `* l宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，乡村发展水平有效提升。这个标题要写，要明确围绕的中心是转型强村。效果是乡村发展水平。对应转型强村找内容。' {9 w7 A3 D2 v. J0 nmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:8 ^$ u$ r4 ~; K& N7 q) }8 E5 M/ k' umso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那我把内容归纳一下，第二部分就点明五六点重点内容。& v/ e+ y1 O" N1 R7 E h
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">内容不在于多少，要说出亮点与特色。大家都在创建，为什么选你。因为你创建的有成效，亮点多，做法新。1 C8 c/ p# W! H# T- r1 ^3 cmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这也有点像二元标题。5 b) p& m( u1 L* Z0 g" b; {mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度:- b- _0 @/ C6 m9 X" D6 f' ~
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学你这是典型的观点加事迹的写法，要把材料融会贯通，并从中提炼观点。8 z% T- a( J4 J. x. s& ~8 ymso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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! |' N* [/ v) P8 ?4 v: p) o. Fline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">( i# C1 [1 ~- X- efont-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;: c7 n6 e5 [ }" J' i
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我发表一下个人的想法，有以下几个方面的建议：一是老秘并不了解学员工作的具体环境和具体情况，如果要这样一对一的修改，是需要花费一些时间慢慢对接的；二是就本文来说存在一些逻辑问题，可能是在撰稿之初就犯了一些逻辑性错误，观点（小标题）是根据内容提炼出来的，而本文的小标题对仗工整，乍一看给人的感觉是比较好，但一看内容就有点文不对题了。例如：第一部分，作为乡级政府谈何政策支持？乡镇有制定政策的权限吗？. V, ]/ I, X$ r5 Y4 I" }: ?4 }, n
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:* d: h8 D% _1 P9 x+ S) {. [- _) n
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我们是县级市，不是乡镇。! D- \; I0 G8 Z( u- Zmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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" ~% b0 @) x' z$ u& e楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度：: C% f: o, ?, K7 k9 E( c& Rmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级，包括地市级都没有制定政策的权限，都是贯彻落实上级的政策。此外，从文章的提纲看，二级标题不能囊括内容。2 A4 @7 S2 E e- f$ g3 g Rmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">& n2 @" O6 h5 B* D14.0pt;font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-hansi-font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:! ^7 O4 q8 I$ O" `
楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌: A; \! T" S e: jmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级市应该有制定本县美丽乡村建设实施意见和考核标准、政策支持等权力的吧。二级标题与子标题脱节。/ L6 a/ l0 b$ ]) F; v
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! o* F8 p1 g) r% Q5 m/ `楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:+ E8 u, q* S( I
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">即便乡镇没有制定政策的权限，但也可以出台一些举措，比如以奖代补，纳入考核。这些可以归入政策层面。5 t, T+ l- Y1 L, \
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对，这个问题我同意。而且这也不是核心问题。核心问题可能还是逻辑架构上。我觉得晓斌对转型可能没有理解透。$ s# N' Y; h0 [( v+ I5 [+ h- }; Fmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学胡晓斌6 ~5 u( o# I( ], Bmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">——剖析材料的写法。 M9 K/ h( M- m x$ S
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这篇六大点，有点多，整合下。& ?; ]* Y- `0 y6 L
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、列提纲、明思路( |5 o o# P: ~0 }( a
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- p0 _8 W1 N6 ]7 z5 T) ^楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:) T! r, w6 V _2 z0 ?4 Dmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">在刚才讨论的基础上，我想谈一谈关于列提纲的一点体会。我所理解的提纲就是动笔之前想好的内容，材料的骨架，也是我们通常所说的谋篇布局。8 K9 g, i o2 c$ ~mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:如果反过来，写加强社区制度建设，对93向社区制度进行梳理，非常平，看不出什么特色与亮点来。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:需求为王，刨树刨根，循此，深挖，梳理片段，轮廓，佐以素材，碰撞，修正思路，揉融观点素材，思路为纲，纲举目张，终是符合有关要求，才算好。
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. Z5 l" ~$ \" B# c楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:总之写作很难，难在何处，之一是思维。
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' ?+ b4 I- a9 l. \' y# I( M/ C楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:难在先方有可贵后生！思路素材之间有一碰撞修正过程不是一成不变的，中间很多时候有变化。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老猫:好标题的灵感从哪里来？老猫的体会是从段落内容中提炼，从个别字词中联想，从上级文件中生发，从参考资料中化用，从交流碰撞中偶得。
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300x180 AD
